Инстаграм @tiekonejon Tieko Nejon
With my typos and all, the fine print can’t be our hang up! Let’s call this one a dry run and let’s make steps every Tuesday (Wednesday, Thursday....Sunday) until we get it right. Until then 1. we can’t get tired by exhausting energy on trying to fix mishaps. 2. we got a lot of players right now. Who knows who is for us or against us, but let’s put everybody in the game and see. 3. swipe and see the effect. This is from my girl kid’s feed and she has a healthy mix of friends. They are kids and are making waves. 4. this is a journey. Pack light and move (and correct) in love and grace for each other.
BLACK LIVES MATTER #blackouttuesday “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust’…He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge…” Psalm 91:1-2,4
And this goes for every other occupation. teachers doctors attorneys store clerks sales associates dining servers receptionists managers even the president Racism comes from a set of tightly packed ideas and feelings towards and about the worth of other’s existence in comparison to your own, so it is inevitable that racist in any position CAN and WILL funnel their service through racism. Racism is not always conscious and it’s not always blatant acts of hate. Black and brown people aren’t imagining that they are being treated differently. Racist are imaging that they are not racist. It’s necessary to rewrite hiring practices across the nation. It’s time to implement training beyond the checkbox of Diversity and Inclusion but hire accordingly. It’s time companies adapt practices of continuous heart work. It’s not enough to be reactionary. Leaders need to remove addendums to handbooks and go back to the whiteboard and round table and start again. It’s time for new missions, values, and on-boarding practices because you can’t hold breath in hopes that your employees and team members will not see and serve through a racist lens, mindset and heart. I moved into the space of work I’m in because of the missing component of heart work—the “soft skills” that rarely get you hired but miss them and they’ll get you fired. ***** Before you say “I am not racist” or need clarification defining racism, swipe left. And before you respond in defense, sit with it for a good 24 hours, and during that time and ask yourself the questions anti-racist activist Jane Elliott asked of her audience. Would you, as a white person, be happy to receive the same treatment as black citizens in our country?
And the Police Union reminds citizens that there should not be a rush to judgement. Deciding a man should be put to death, you judge swiftly Putting a man to death in the middle of a street Shooting a man to death sitting in his own home Killing a woman sleeping in her bed Shooting and killing an unarmed man running away Shooting and killing an unarmed man sitting in a car Killing a man standing on a highway with hands up WHO IS RUSHING TO JUDGMENT???? ITS NOT OUR, THE CITIZENS, JUDGEMENT THAT NEEDS CHECKING. THIS ADMONISHMENT BELONGS TO COPS. Judgment NOW Judge NOW Jury NOW Justice NOW It takes a sick, sadistic, soulless human to be able to kill another human without flinching. I’ve never seen murder so calmly done. *Update: I’ve disabled comments because I have zero energy to reply. I have zero words for exchange. And I honestly, have zero power to temper my words right now.
The boy kid is changing! He told me he could not take it anymore and needed his hair cut so I pulled out the clippers and got busy. Before Covid, he had a standing appointment for the 💈 every two weeks with his god-father @coach_ronw. Maybe time is slipping but this cut changed him in my eyes. He’s now taller than the girl kid by the way. He is 11 years old heading into 6th grade. That’s still elementary at his school so I’m glad, but my baby boy is slipping away and I’m getting glimpses of him as a young man, hopefully, minus the dislike of lotion. Thinking of time, I’m going to take some for me (and my work). My gig as homeschool mom is up (for now) and I can now channel my time to structure my work for the new NOW. I’m going to use June for that.
You’ve seen this by now but I want you to see it again and again. The downside of protecting ourselves from pain is we fail to see the pain of others. I invite you out of your bubble to grieve the horrible loss of human life. This is only the first page but the list fills three pages total I believe. Let’s be real, not enough of us are taking this serious enough. We don’t like to have to face the darker parts of life but be clear, this pandemic is a part of real life, YOUR life, in real time. You don’t get to have the sunshine and not the rain. That’s not how this is set up. I’m going to list a few thoughts in no particular order. Thoughts I’ve held in or only shared with a few. Maybe you’ll think or maybe you’ll get mad at me. I don’t know and I don’t particularly care. - the numbers were real before this list. We should not require shock to care. - we are spoiled and entitled. Most of the fights to ‘get back to life’ are about leisure and fun. Not about children needing to be safe from abuse, struggling parents who need to go back to work for pay or the sick who can’t go to their doctors appointments. - no we can’t stay home forever but NOTHING about the disease itself has changed. - we have only been in the house for 10 weeks (NOT TEN MONTHS) and most have found any reason to leave but will then say bless the essential workers. - a lot of you will talk crap about the person in the presidential office but he won’t wear a mask and is golfing, and you’re sneaking to get your nails done or clamoring to the beaches. I don’t see a difference. - I am appalled at the abuse of faith during this time. I live by faith but I also will look both ways when crossing the street, wear a seatbelt, or follow the instructions of the doctor. God is is just as clear on being a fool as he is on living by faith (and on loving others while we are at it). - church to many, is essential but gathering is not essential to church. Not right now. Now is the best time to make REAL church happen outside of the four walls. - I’m not afraid of death but I do not want to have to die alone. Most of them did...and no life celebration or burial. To those who have been affected, I’m sorry.
🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️True story! Seriously though, can we talk for real? the theory behind self-care really is not intended for pit stops or acts of distractions from a sordid reality. It is intended to be deliberate acts that aid us in becoming the best version of ourselves. We have always done self-care–at least the way it’s dangled in most current conversations. We have always made time for salon appointments (Beauty Shop is what I grew up calling it) and nail appointments. We have always found solace in cooking for friends, girl dates, and gatherings. We have for years put our dollars into the skincare industry, stocking up on bottle deals of body lotion, wash and sprays in matching scents. So this brings about my real point. Self-care is more than a break to feel good. It’s putting self-awareness and self-love, into practice. It’s normalizing interaction between self and living. The intent is to live better overall, not in pockets of stolen time. Take the baths, book the spas, purge the skin, read the books, meditate, nap, climb the mountain, swim the shore, gather the friends, BUT ALSO go within and dig up the parts of you that need healing and need wholeness—the parts of you that is constant need of the “self-care” breaks. Ok, I’m going to fire up this facial steamer which I blamed @tonya.rapley for. Note to self: it’s still Mental Health Awareness month.
Today the girl kid @lindcy.wilson graduates from 8th grade! 4 more years remaining to stuff the jar!!!! 🎓 I once told her that her life is symbolic of a jar. And we, her parents and the people we allow in her space, would drop into the jar everything we believe is good for her. She would one day reach an age that she is left with the jar. She’ll have the right and will to pull freely from it, toss whatever does not work for her and keep what she finds valuable. I told her there would even be things that won’t be of use until it is. And there will be other things that matter now but won’t later. Bottom line, it’s her jar. 🎓 Gosh, the jar is almost full and I see an amazing human developing. I know the world needs her even though I sometimes selfishly believe it does not deserve her. Congratulations Lindcy!!!!!! We, the village, love you. We support you. We need YOU! High School awaits you!!!!!
Y’all have done well. How you did it and whatever you have done, you did a good job. No one gave you a manual for any of this and so far, you’re hanging in there, showing up to life everyday and working with what you’ve got. I know you have a long list of Covid to-do but should you not get any of it done, I’m proud of y’all. I’m proud of us!
I posted about support recently and then shared on a recent webinar that support is usually there but we might miss it because we assign the people in our lives duties they may not have signed up for or aren’t equipped to handle. And then we are left emotionally fractured. All of my friends care about me or else I would not call them friends, BUT all of my friends are unique to themselves which means they are unique to me. I’m not looking for to same support from a friend who is an entrepreneur as I would from one that is not. I don’t look for relationship advice from friends that are not married. I don’t look to my friends who don’t have children for advice on parenting. And brace yourself, I don’t share goals and wins (or losses) with friends that aren’t goal driven (and that’s ok!). The feedback will land differently. Know who is who (and why) in your life. This goes for family too. Don’t make any one body everything because the truth is, you aren’t everything to anyone. Happy Sunday!
Just wrapped up a podcast interview and we talked about rejection. I would say ironically, but I know how Spirt works, I had this same conversation less than 20 min before the interview with my girlfriend @brandicedaniel. My pre-nap thoughts 🙇🏾♀️ Some of us are slow to go because while we tell ourselves we need support, we are really looking for permission. And then we filter our value through all of the NO’s. Rejection did/does not change your validity. It changed/changes your options. Okay, I’m going to take a nap before tonight’s webinar (see last post if you’re interested).
I WANT TO SHARE A STORY. After having my son, I decided to join a Zumba class. I have nevvverrr been the girl really (or any) good at choreographed anything; cheer, dance, Savage challenge, all not for me. I showed up to class as scheduled but made sure to stay in the back (why hate on everyone else’s Zumba’ing). I figured if I could just dance to the music (I have rhythm) I could accomplish something. That’s it. That’s the story. But here is the moral of it. Who knew if I was really getting the results of the class and the actual prepared moves that the instructor put together for some measurable results? I had convinced my myself that if I just kept with the music, I could blend in and see some benefit. That’s how a lot of you are approaching your pivot. You’re not necessarily pivoting, you’re just moving to the music and hoping for results. I’m not knocking that idea because I lost some weight when I just focused on moving, BUT I can’t tell you what moves really worked and I can’t replicate it if my life or waistline depended on it. I know there is a lot of conversation and a lot more ideas and theories about pivoting, but I care about your HOW you pivot. Come hang out with me on the webinar and get answers to your pivot questions. FREE FREE FREE And I’m not selling anything.>>>>Swipe for details. Registration link in bio👆🏾
How often does the story start with, “I didn’t see this coming...”? Strong is not a reason to lose it. I hope that makes sense to somebody. This is mental health month and in my last post I wrote (a loooong share) about pivoting. That topic is so hot-button right now but if your pivot requires you to be immortal, then you have the other options to: take a breath ask for help change the pace (re)prioritize search for answers AND I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO GET ME THIGH DEEP IN YOUR FEELINGS, BUT, you even have the option to QUIT. Your mental health is not worth the perceived win. Your lane does not change because you decide to switch vehicles. I quit (talked a little about it in my last post) and I won because I protected my mind, not my perception.
(Sound on) BUT READ IF YOU HAVR EVER ASKED YOURSELF, “WHAT AM I REALLY DOING”. One of these good old days I’m going to tell the entire story of how I found myself at the crazy crux of standing on a NY corner in 2018 NEEDING to quit (the former structure of) my business, brand strategy and design. PERSONAL TRUTH: Looking back, even though my business made me good money, it robbed me of my call. I picked up on the craft and it came easy for me so I did it for 8+ years. The strategy portion of the business afforded me the chance to teach/train leaders and teams and several opportunities to speak but my CALL to teaching, my unique PURPOSE, was a side show and not my focus. COLLECTIVE TRUTH: Don’t be confused. What comes easy may not be your call. The call (most likely) will require next level work and new muscles of commitment; research, trainings, studying, school, certification, new skill sets, new circles,...in some cases, starting completely over. This breakdown of sorts on that NY corner felt like Purpose confronting me with two choices: sit still and receive (not find, because it was always there) what I was supposed to be doing or continue doing what I was doing which in many ways was nothing because even with opportunities, going against our purpose can makes our work useless. *** This is a snippet from last week’s (private) training with the designers from @harlemsfashionrow. Side note: the flyer made me blush because the participants asked to have me back for a part 2! 🤸🏿♀️🤸🏿♀️🤸🏿♀️ Like many of you, I’m currently in the midst of another pivot, adjusting to solely virtual teachings, but that NY corner taught me that a shift or the emotions that come with it are not a setbacks if you stay in your personal purpose.
I chose Motherhood but Motherhood saw me changed me planted me grounded me lifted me purposed me fulfilled me built me kept me protected me renewed me softened me strengthened me focused me released me All of the best parts of me are because of Motherhood.
When I was a very young kid, I knew when my mother was near without even seeing her because of her scent, the sound of her walk, and even the sound of her keys. I can recall her mannerisms, her tones, body language, and facial expressions. I knew what she was saying without her saying a word. As time moves on, I realize I remember it all so well because a lot me is a lot of her—it’s as if my mother has become my second nature. I’m grateful.♥️
Trust is an interesting concept, as is judgement. Accountability requires both. A tall hurdle for adults is often accountability. Who do we trust to judge us—to tell us about ourselves and keep an eye out for our blind spots? It’s why we are fast to push the ‘don’t judge me’ campaigns. The way we “hear” judgment (critique, correction) is matched to the trust we have in the person giving it, and that begins when we are children. Trust is built when the judgment is grounded in love, patience, consideration, and guidance. Fear kicks in when it’s lead by anger, disgust, ridicule and shame. Think of statements like, “What were you thinking?”, or “How could you do that?” or commands like “stop!” with no explanation. Instinctually, guards go up for fear of judgement. Parents, we are spending a ton more time with our children and it puts us in a uniques position to (un)learn ways to raise the humans we hope for them to be.
Sometimes @curtisjmoore takes shots well past my (very) limited ability to focus. He’ll say something like, “just stand there” (in the most disrespectful, frustrated tone, but that’s besides the point🙇🏾♀️). Shuffling through old pics, I found one of those and it’s everything I’m feeling in this exact moment...y’all, hear me when I say, you don’t have to have an answer. IT’S OK TO JUST STAND THERE. Ephesians 6:13- ...and having done all, to stand. 👘 @adornmetreasures
I have thoughts about peace–about how often we hear the word, especially during a time like this (even though ‘this’ is not like any other ‘this’) but won’t admit that it sounds mystical to many of us because who actually teaches us about it...how to get it, and how to keep it. So you sit looking in through the window at all the people dancing with their peace, and dare you say you feel anything other than the thing you aren’t even sure of it’s meaning. Tomorrow I’m talking about Keeping Peace with the @thegreatgirlfriends. I hope you join me. See my prior post for details.
Hey!!!!! We can get together again! Who does not like a second invitation? I’m joining @thegreatgirlfriends for another round this Friday. I’ll be going LIVE at 11, PST but for sure I’ll be logged in for the other guest before me because, well look at the line up. Michelle Thornton Ghee is my ‘in my mind’ mentor. You should check out her Chalkboard Transformation Series on or page @stratechic. Kela @kelawalker is one of of my favorite humans on and off the gram. Her style is 🔥 and her spirt is infectious. The dynamite @wildeindigochild is a perfect mix of beauty and innovation. And I’ve heard nothing greatness about @Terri. Anyway, come hang out with me. I’m chatting Keeping (your) Peace. Swipe left for details. >>>
I FOUND RELEASE TODAY. I miss my in-person trainings. I do. I feed off of the audiences energy—I literally feel fire in my belly when I am in front of a crowd, big or small. But I’m reminded that what I really love is teaching, so if virtual is how I have to show up (for now) then that’s what I’m going to do. Interestingly enough, today’s training was about pivoting and emotions. Truth, I’ve avoided using social media, video, and technology in my business. If I do, I do. I’ve never purposed it. I’m 44. In-person, face to face, and soul to soul is my way, BUT the mode can’t be the roadblock to your calling people! We have to be willing to pivot, shift, leap and do a shimmy. Oh and a good pair of frames ( I only purchase from @utenzimiller) saves the full face make-up time, lolol. A little powder and a red lip and I’m ready for these virtual streets.🤣 📸 And I better give photo cred to my girl kid before she see this...thank you sweet pea @lindcy.wilson