I can't figure out how I feel about how I look. I know how I've wanted to be perceived, how I've been perceived, and how I'm used to seeing myself. I've said "I look like a boy" to 2 people and both said "is that a bad thing?" and I honestly don't know how to answer that. I don't know how I feel. So much expectation is put on us to look one way or another. I want to look attractive to certain people but unnoticeable to strangers. It's an incredibly difficult struggle that most people can't relate to at all. Trans people have to stick together in some ways. Non-binary people are hard to find and harder to hold onto. Right now I feel better covered up. It's like 80 degrees out and I feel most comfortable in loose jeans, a baggy hoodie, and a beanie. I hope to feel comfortable with my body, face, even hair someday, but until then.. I just really, truly do not know. For now I'm just going to stick with losing myself in sci-fi media and cozy in loose fitting clothes.
Note for slide 4: my guild on a game is funny. They made me think of pre-war Bucky and Steve lol Yeah, "the bee's knees" was the kicker lol Anywayyy, me talking about myself now. It is 7:45am. By 6am it was already a No Good, Very Bad Day. Dysphoric AF, my body is making that worse this week, got attacked by a troll who used language that made it worse, it's moving day, mom and I are going grocery shopping (me + in public = Not Good but must be done because I'll be worse later if I don't go), a screw came out of my glasses & I don't have a teeny screwdriver to fix it, I feel freaking horrible all over, body and brain. 🎶 I hate today 🎶 Corvids artist: incendavery on Tumblr ...I'd link but insta doesn't let you do that.
Appy likes Rise of the Planet of the Apes. He's cheering for the apes too. lol I just looked to see what year it was made and he glared at me, probably thinking I was going to change the channel. I wouldn't to that to you, bug. Every time I watch a movie with Andy Serkis I'm blown away all over again. He's an amazing actor. He should get awards every time tbh.
My little feet warmer. Small but very effective. It's cold in here! ("There must be some Clovers in the atmosphere" I have to add for my old roomie haha) ❄️🐱
Someone's fixing the a/c (that I didn't know/couldn't tell was broken?) so, in testing if the temp is dropping correctly it's at 55° which = legs and nose in hoodie and Appy is my purring feet warmer ❄️🐱
This punk can be such a burden. Literally, not metaphorically. He's the best. Even when he wakes me up then tries to eat my glasses, which is why I'm not wearing them yet. Pardon the bed head.
It's not bad enough that he stole my heart. Now he's stolen my blanket and my teddy bear! He's lucky I love him. Galen (my bear) doesn't seem to mind, at least.
I will get the hang of selfies with glasses. ..the reflections never go away, huh? Anyway.. X-Files marathon! Wish Netflix would add it back but I have TV for now so 😝 at them. Infinity War is aaaaaannnnggggsssssttttttt (painful af). Not gonna give spoilers, just.. OW (we all knew it'd be painful but ooooowwwwwwwwww!!!!!!)
NEW GLASSES! To make up for the poor quality pics, have a kitty photo 🤣 I got 2 pairs of glasses, 1 is tinted. Thank frak for buy one get one deals! Now, words keep getting mixed up in my head so I think I need lots of sleep. (I re-read a sentence I wrote and "so" became "as" in my head. Almost the whole sentence changed, but that's the only part I recognized was way wrong.)
FINALLY GETTING GLASSES!! These are the frames I picked. They were buy one get one so I got 2! Yay! The 2nd pair will be sunglasses. Yay! My mom insisted I have one pair tinted (thanks, mom) and stepdad agreed (thanks, pops). Had to rep @thedollyrots of course. It's my favorite hoodie so I wear it all. the. time 😄 I need a cassette player so I can listen to their tape I bought last year to listen to in my car that was totalled a year ago 😥 I need their other albums too 🤣 The French joke is "what do you call a guy who wears sandals? Phillipé Phillopé" which sounds like saying "flip flop" but "fileepay filoppay" 😂 I was surprised to see a joke in French (which I'm slowly learning when I have motivation) that I understood! Yay again! The last 2 slides are Representation Fking Matters! Deadpool's awesome. He's not only an irreverent, sarcastic, fourth wall ignoring, bamf (all of which are also reasons I love him). He beat cancer, decided to use his 2nd chance to fight not only the guys who messed him up but all of the bad guys, is a friendly dude who usually hides his feelings by being a little sh*t (not unlike Tony Stark aka Iron Man), and cares. He canonically knows fluent ASL and even partially removes his mask, revealing the scars he tries so desperately to hide in public, so Clint can read his lips when Wade doesn't/can't sign. Just a tiny bit of why I will defend the hell out of the man. Bonus: These comics including Clint/Hawkeye's hearing loss. I REALLY want all of them: Fraction and Hawkeye vs Deadpool. I still need to get the rest of the Silk comics though. I only have 6 out of 15 and they're not all in order 😅 I wish MCU would include Clint's hearing loss, but we can only get so much rep and they've shown Tony's PTSD & anxiety plus Bucky and they'd, of course, make the whole movie about it like they did with Iron Man 3. We all know Hawkeye isn't getting that kind of love and attention (wtf @ Infinity War promo posters!?) Thank frak for @bosslogic and other fan artists or we'd never see Hawkeye promotional anything 😒 I tagged them because Go. Check. Them. Out! Awesome stuff. Check out @mintmintdoodles while you're at it! Cute MCU and other art!
#wbw Way back Wednesday? The Red Paintings "You're Not One Of Them" I fell in love with this song when I heard it during the credits of some B horror movie years ago. I HAD to know what it was and have since listened to it more times than I dare even guess. It's currently on repeat again 😂 I like their other songs, but this one is addictive for me. The video is a literal kaleidoscope at times but artistic in many ways. @theredpaintings are great. I suck at describing abstract things, but if you like pop rock and violins, then this song will suck you in. Okie dokie! Back to Spotify (still excited they have a "non-binary" option for gender for your profile! Go Spotify!)
Guess who loves classical and opera? *points thumbs toward self* and ballet and theatre and yeahhh... woo! Also, it's National Librarian Week so have some book nerdiness 😁
Crunchy coffee *cries in insomniac* ...I'm still drinking it, just not the last bit at the bottom of my mug.
I'd say they came out pretty great! But I got out of dyeing them this year hehehe Galaxy of Heroes and SimCity are addicting. I'm gonna have a hard time leaving them alone all day tomorrow. Anyway... There was some oil stuff in the egg dyeing kit? So they're glossy. That'll be fun for the egg cracking 😂 Mine's the attempted purple one that came out greyish and now looks metallic. I love it! I'm glad I convinced them to try to make purple. If I had a gold pen I'd try to do some design on it inspired by Bucky's new arm.